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  You're So Unromantic

  Austin celebrates his twenty-fourth birthday as an observer on the set of a porn shoot, under the watchful eye of his lover and mentor, legendary porn star Nick Grandiforte. Before the shoot is over, Austin has made his own adult film debut. He soon finds himself involved not only with Nick, but with Nick’s old buddy and frequent co-star, the troubled but sympathetic porn actor Jon D’Eau. Still determined to overcome Nick’s diffidence, Austin finds himself occupying the position of one-third of a triangular relationship—with all of the emotional pitfalls that implies.

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  You’re So Unromantic

  Copyright © 2011 Roland Graeme

  ISBN: 978-1-77111-021-1

  Cover art by Martine Jardin

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.

  Published by eXtasy Books

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  You’re So Unromantic

  By

  Roland Graeme

  T.S.

  Part Three

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hearthside

  After their erotic exertions, Steve, Denny, and Ramrod all professed themselves to be famished. As Steve put it, “Christ! Getting raped always gives me such an appetite!”

  To which Denny retorted, “Yeah, another hole you want to have filled, huh?”

  Austin couldn’t deny it. He was hotly aroused by what he’d seen the three men do in front of George’s camera. Austin had a semi-erection trapped in his jeans, and was painfully aware of its presence every time he moved. To distract himself, he tried to keep busy.

  In his unofficial capacity as Nick’s assistant, Austin was once again able to make himself useful, this time by helping Steve in the kitchen. Dinner was simple but filling, consisting of salad, followed by chicken parmigiana with pasta shells on the side, accompanied by steamed mixed vegetables.

  “What’s for dessert?” Denny demanded.

  Steve and Nick exchanged knowing glances. “You can have your choice, guys,” Steve informed them. “My famous homemade apple pie, or a store-bought cake. Or both.”

  “Oh, I’ll have both,” the disingenuous Ramrod immediately declared.

  Nick excused himself, and left the room.

  “Two desserts?” Denny asked. “What’s the occasion?”

  “You’ll see in a minute,” Steve said.

  Denny was suspicious. “Okay, what’ve you got up your sleeve?”

  “This,” Steve declared, as Nick came back into the kitchen, carrying a cake on a plate, with twenty-four lit candles flickering away on top of it. “Happy birthday, Austin!”

  “It’s your birthday?” George asked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I don’t know.” Austin could feel himself blushing with pleasure at the surprise. “How’d you know it was my birthday?” he asked Nick.

  “I’ve got a copy of your birth certificate, remember?” Nick said. “Come on, make a wish, and blow out your candles. A guy only turns twenty-four once.”

  “What a way to celebrate your birthday,” Ramrod said, with a laugh, as Austin admired the blazing cake. “On a porno shoot!”

  “I think it’s great,” Austin insisted.

  “Blow out your candles and cut the cake,” Steve urged. “We’ve got champagne, too, in your honor. It’s cheap champagne, but enough of it’ll get you drunk!”

  “You guys are the best,” Austin told them, meaning it.

  He didn’t have any trouble coming up with a silent wish to make, before he blew out the two dozen candles. I wish I could have Nick for my lover, my real lover, not just a fuck buddy. I wish Nick would feel the same way about me that I feel about him.

  Everyone had champagne, although Steve, Denny, and Ramrod then switched to whiskey. After the impromptu celebration, Nick excused himself, to review the footage they’d already shot. Austin helped Steve with the cleanup and the dishes, then took Nick a cup of coffee.

  “Thanks, Austin,” Nick said, barely taking his eyes off his monitor. On it, at the moment, a wide-eyed Steve was servicing Denny with his mouth while taking Ramrod up the ass.

  “How’s it look?” Austin asked.

  “Great. This isn’t going to need much editing at all. You seem to have brought us luck.”

  Denny and Ramrod were in the living room, seated on the same couch they’d had sex on a few hours previously, watching TV. Austin joined them. They all had a second helping of dessert, and polished off the rest of the champagne. In his mellow mood, Austin didn’t object, or pull away, when Ramrod put his hand on his knee, then proceeded to grope his crotch through his pants.

  “Don’t make me tell Nick,” Austin threatened the biker, playfully. Then he had an inspiration. “You’ve seen Nick’s play room, in his house, haven’t you, Ramrod?”

  “Sure. We’ve shot videos there, using all the equipment. I was the top man, the star,” Ramrod boasted.

  “Well, I’d hate to have to tell Nick you’re taking liberties with me,” Austin warned, sounding like a prim Victorian maiden, even to his own ears. Denny, listening to him, let out a guffaw. “You wouldn’t believe how jealous Nick is of me. He might lock you up in that cage of his.”

  “Yeah,” Denny said, playing along. “I heard the last guy who put the make on Austin spent a whole week in there. Eating nothing but dog food, out of a dish.”

  Ramrod immediately took his hand away, as though it had been burned.

  The others, including the allegedly jealous Nick, joined them, and they discussed the sleeping arrangements. It was obvious that on these working weekends such technicalities were not worked out ahead of time, but were improvised on the spot.

  “Steve, Denny, and Ramrod,” Nick said. “No matter who beds down where and with whom, none of you guys can have sex tonight. No ejaculations allowed. You have to save it, for tomorrow’s shoot.”

  “Aw, Nick,” Ramrod whined. “Do I have to?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m perfectly capable of shooting my wad tonight, and still being able to perform tomorrow,” Denny boasted. “Just ask my wife.”

  “Nick is a hell of lot more demanding than your wife,” Steve said. “In his capacity as director, I mean.”

  “I repeat, no coming,” Nick insisted. “Anybody who breaks the rule has to put his five bucks in the jizz jar.”

  A baffled Austin spoke up. “I hesitate to ask, Nick, because I’m afraid I’m going to regret it, but what the fuck is the jizz jar?”

  “The jizz jar is the equivalent of a swear box,” George explained. “Anybody who’s scheduled to perform on one of these weekend-long shoots, who comes when the camera’s not rolling, has to put five dollars in the jizz jar.”

  “You’re kidding me, aren’t you?” Austin asked.

  “Not at all. At Nick’s place, he uses an
empty coffee can, and here Steve uses an empty jar. He keeps it in one of the kitchen cabinets.”

  “And what do you guys do with the money?”

  “We use it to buy beer, when enough accumulates.”

  “Gentlemen,” Steve said. “Now that George has filled Austin in on the house rules, let’s get back to the sleeping arrangements, shall we? Nick, you and Austin can sleep in my bedroom. I’ll bunk down somewhere else.”

  “No, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Nick protested. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed. If you’ve still got that big double sleeping bag, I’ll do what I did last time, use it for a mattress and spread it out downstairs in the living room, in front of the fire. And Austin can share it with me, if he wants to.”

  Yeah, like I’m going to turn down an offer like that! However, Austin said nothing, he only returned Nick’s smile.

  “Well, if you’re sure you guys will be comfortable, Nick,” Steve was saying.

  “We’ll be fine. It was a lovely way to spend the night, the last time I was here.”

  “Then Denny can sleep with me, in my room,” Steve suggested. “And George and Ramrod can have the spare bedroom. Is that okay with you, Ramrod?”

  “I wanted to sleep with the pretty boy,” Ramrod said, eyeing Austin.

  “Down, boy,” Nick said. “Hands off. Don’t make me get out the muzzle and the leash!”

  “Or the dog food dish,” a gleeful Denny whispered in Austin’s ear.

  “So Austin’s ‘the pretty boy,’ huh? And what am I, chopped liver?” George asked.

  “Oh, I guess you’ll do in a pinch,” Ramrod conceded. “At least you don’t snore.”

  “I, ah, thought you were straight, George?” Austin blurted out.

  “I am. It’s not the first time Ramrod and I have slept together, during one of these overnight shoots. And nothing has ever happened between the two of us that I couldn’t tell my mother about,” George insisted. “He knows better than to try anything. He knows if he ever made a grab for my dick, I’d bitch-slap him so hard his piercings would all fly out.” The sheepish look on Ramrod’s face suggested, to Austin, that George might not be speaking purely theoretically. “Sleeping with Ramrod is just like having a human hot water bottle in bed with you.” George concluded. “He’s not so bad to have next to you on a cold night.”

  Interesting. Next, he’ll be telling me that going to bed with Ramrod is like sleeping with a big fuzzy overstuffed teddy bear! Austin filed this tidbit of information away for possible future reference.

  “So that’s all settled, then,” Steve was saying.

  In the living room, Steve moved the coffee table away, clearing a space in front of the fireplace. Then he fetched the sleeping bag and spread it out on the floor. Nick, who was obviously at home here in the farm house, raided the linen closet in the meantime, and came downstairs with two pillows, not one but two quilts, and a pair of sheets. He deposited all of this bedding on top of the sleeping bag.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be comfortable here?” Steve asked.

  “Positive,” Nick said.

  “We’ll be fine,” Austin agreed. The improvised bed in fact looked extremely inviting.

  The four other men said their goodnights and trooped up the stairs. As they turned out the downstairs lights, Nick and Austin could hear their companions talking as they settled in, in the two upstairs bedrooms. Gradually, though, there was silence.

  “It’s really quiet out here, in the middle of nowhere, isn’t it?” Austin remarked.

  “Yes.” Nick was getting undressed. He squatted, nude in front of the fireplace, putting a fresh log on the fire and positioning the fire screen. Then he adjusted the bedding, setting the pillows on top of the sleeping bag, near the hearth, using one of the quilts as a bottom sheet, and spreading out the actual sheet and the other quilt on top.

  “We ought to be plenty warm enough,” he commented. “Come on, Austin, take off your clothes and get into bed. It’s late.”

  Austin stripped, depositing his clothes next to Nick’s on the couch, and joined him on the hearthside bed. The heat from the fire felt delightful on his bare skin.

  Nick was looking at him with a rather provocative smile.

  “Comfy?” he asked.

  “Very.”

  “Sleepy?” Nick asked.

  “A little.”

  “Well, don’t nod off just yet, birthday boy. Look under the pillow.”

  Austin explored with one hand, and found a small flat box, gift-wrapped, with a bow.

  “Where’d this come from?” he asked.

  “I had it tucked away inside one of the pillow cases. So I could make it suddenly appear, by magic, presto, chango! It’s for you, in case you haven’t already figured that out.”

  “Oh, my God, Nick,” Austin said, excitedly. “This is already the best birthday I’ve ever had, I mean it. You don’t have to give me anything.”

  “Shut up and open it.”

  Austin did so. Under the wrapping paper was a hinged box which opened to reveal a man’s bracelet, made up of heavy gold links. It was no ordinary bracelet. Each of the links had a sort of zigzag kink in its center, so that the effect was of a stylized lightning bolt wrapped around the wrist.

  “Jesus, Nick. This is beautiful! But it looks expensive.”

  “It’s bad form to question how much a gift costs,” Nick mock-lectured him. “Anyway, a man your age should own at least one decent piece of jewelry. Like my cross,” he said, fingering the item in question, which gleamed in the firelight as it rested against his bare chest.

  Austin put the bracelet on, holding his arm up so he could see it more clearly in the firelight. “Look, it fits perfectly. I love it, Nick. I’m never going to take it off. Well, except down at the garage, of course. I couldn’t wear it at work. It’d get dirty, and I wouldn’t want to risk damaging it.”

  “I didn’t think about that. I’m afraid I wasn’t thinking in very practical terms when I picked it out. I was thinking how good it would look on you.”

  “Nick, I’m delighted that, for once, you didn’t let yourself be all practical and commonsensical. It’s not at all like you. That’s a side of your personality I’d like to see more of.”

  “Do you really like it, though? If not, we can take it back to the store and exchange it for something else.”

  “We’ll do no such thing. I love it. I love you. I mean it, I really do. I know you don’t want to hear that, Nick, but I can’t help thinking it or saying it!”

  “Oh, shut up and give me a kiss.” They kissed. “Happy birthday,” Nick whispered, against Austin’s lips. They kissed again, even more passionately this time.

  They lay there, side by side, hugging and kissing, languidly at first, but then with increasing desire. The blazing fire was beginning to make both men perspire.

  “You and I, we don’t have to worry about saving ourselves for tomorrow. We can come, if we want to,” Nick pointed out. “Do you want to? Play a little, I mean? Before we go to sleep?”

  Austin’s only reply was to embrace Nick and pull him against his own body on the heap of the sleeping bag and the quilts. He could feel the other man’s lips close around his cock in the middle of the shaft, the turgid cockhead driving itself impatiently down into Nick’s throat as he turned his body and pushed his crotch toward the guy’s face. It was obvious by the ease with which the two men moved into the sixty-nine position that they had done this together before, but never with quite this intensity. Austin threw his arms up around his bedmate’s hips, clamping his fingers into the muscular ass cheeks, and, using his hold on the buttocks for support, he raised his head from the bedclothes, his mouth opening and gulping up both of Nick’s hairy balls.

  Feverishly, as though in a delirium of sexual need, Austin sucked Nick’s nuts, then his ass hole, then, exultantly, every inch of his thick, hard cock. Nick was blowing him just as furiously. His hips bounced in a steady rhythm, fucking Austin’s face. His own head con
tinued its piston-like plunges up and down, his mouth riding Austin’s dick.

  Austin wouldn’t have been human if he didn’t recognize that the identity of his partner was a component in his excitement. He exulted in his possession of Nick. I’m sixty-nining with Niccolo Grandi, the famous porno star! I’m sucking his dick, and he’s sucking mine. And, oh God, he’s so sexy, he’s so hot, he’s every bit as hot as he looks in all of those DVDs he’s made! And tonight, right now, he’s mine, all mine!

  They came together, baptizing each other’s mouths and throats with their warm fuck cream, both men heaving, trembling, and writhing as they gave themselves up to the deluge of passion that spurted out of their bodies and engulfed them, so that they seemed to be sucking and swallowing not as two distinct individuals, but as one entity.

  When it was over, Austin lifted his hips, shuddering quite uncontrollably as the now highly sensitive head of his cock slipped free of the vise of Nick’s lips. His mouth reluctantly released Nick’s penis, the bulk of which he eyed once more with intense pleasure, and a thrill of lewd accomplishment at the thought of how he’d just sucked that impressive organ off. Then he twisted his body free of Nick’s and slumped down on the quilt beside him, no longer in a crotch-to-head position, but face to face with his handsome, well-hung older lover.

  “That really felt good,” Nick declared. “I haven’t come that hard in quite a while.”

  “Yeah, the only thing I didn’t like about it was that it was over too soon,” Austin observed. He felt exuberant despite the fact that he felt temporarily drained of strength as well as semen.

  “At least with both of our mouths full, we didn’t risk making a lot of noise that might keep the other guys awake.”

  “Nick, from what I’ve seen of our buddies so far, I don’t think overhearing a few sex noises in the night is going to bother any of them.”

  “True.” Nick made an effort and sat up, reaching for the quilt and drawing it over both their bodies as he once again slipped down next to Austin. Once they were covered by the quilt from their waists down, Nick rolled against Austin’s warm naked body. Sensing his partner’s movement, Austin turned toward him and put his arm around the sex-warmed flesh nestling in close beside him. The two men lay quietly, their muscular limbs loosely intertwined and their spent dicks growing soft in the space between their bodies.